Thursday, April 18, 2013

Marriage: A Battle of the Logos....


You've probably been seeing one or both of the above logos appearing on Facebook as social media users are beginning to voice their opinions on what defines marriage, while the United States Supreme Court tries to do the same.

I really didn't want to use this blog to discuss issues like this, but I'm going to go against my brain and go with my heart this time! I expect many of you won't agree with what I'm about to say, and that's fine. But hopefully what I discuss will give you something to think about, or something new to consider. At the very least, you'll get an understanding why I and many others believe what we believe.

A Little Background

As you can tell from some of my other posts, I'm a God/Bible believer (surprise!).  I believe God created the universe, the earth and us. I was raised with that belief, was skeptical for a short time, like anyone else, but re-embraced it 10 years ago and believe it now more than ever. You can be presented with all of the historical, geographical and archeological proof that currently exists to support what's in the Bible (and there is more than you might think), but it really comes down to faith. Either you believe it with your heart or you don't. (Same thing, by the way, is true with science. It's obvious that no one was around to experience the "big bang", thus proponents must form their belief on historical/geographical/archeological evidence and ultimately put their faith in that).  So the bottom line is really this:  in which one does your faith lie? One of the first scriptures I remember reading that really stuck in my mind is John 20:29, and comes directly from the mouth of Jesus: "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed".

With that said, and with what I believe, I needed to explore what the Bible says about marriage and same sex relationships to determine what is right. (OK, I know this may cause some of you to want to stop reading....but please continue! You actually might find this interesting!) The Bible, after all, makes it pretty clear that God divinely influenced the human authors of the scriptures in such a way that they wrote what He wanted (2 Timothy 16:17, 1 Corinthians 2:12-13, 2 Peter 1:21 - I'll let you look them up!). Since it's my belief that He created me, I'm obligated to believe what He wrote and to follow His rules. All of His rules, whether I like them or not!  As result, I don't believe I/we have the right to pick and choose what in the Bible to believe. We're putting ourselves above God if we do that. It's all or nothing. Sure some of it doesn't make sense to us. Not everything in it is supposed to, at least right away (Romans 11:33, Jeremiah 33:3).

But unless you read the entire Bible, and preferable more than once, a lot of it won't.  It's no different than picking up any book and reading chapter 11, chapter 6, and then chapter 18.  A lot of what you read won't make sense because you don't have the knowledge or scope of what happened in the prior chapters. That frequently happens with people who randomly pick out a single scripture. They'll form an opinion on it without getting the facts around it. A lot of people fall into the trap of  believing what they think the Bible says (or hopes it says) rather than what it actually does say. Plus we need to remember that if God created us, He can do whatever He wants! He's not obligated to tell us why He does everything He does. Just like our parents. When we were kids they didn't always tell us why they disciplined us or why they had us do things that we didn't understand at the time.  But looking back now, we understand a lot of it. Similarly, as God's children, I think they'll be a time in the future where we'll look back and better understand things that God is doing now.  I can do that now, actually.

Marriage

As far as "marriage" goes, the actual word is never used in the Bible, but there are several references to what it means. But because of time and space, I'll just focus on the first example God gave us:  His original creations....Adam and Eve.  Clearly a man and a woman, and one of each. The best scripture to emphasize that is Matthew 19:4-6, which says, from Jesus' own mouth: "And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female,  and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh." Jesus, by the way, is actually quoting Genesis 2:23-24 here. Another good scripture to check out is Ephesians 5:22-33. Sure, there are instances in the Bible where people had multiple wives (notably David and Solomon), but it's clear that wasn't God's original intention. But He did let it happen, although both David and Solomon paid the consequences several times because of it. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way, which is why God occasionally lets us "reap what we sow" (Galatians 6:7 - "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows"). But the Bible doesn't really say why God let polygamy happen in those days. Some speculation includes the fact that there were many more women then men in those days, partly because of the great loss of life among men because of the many deadly wars that occurred during that time.  Unlike now, it was difficult for unmarried women to provide for themselves back then as most were uneducated and relied on male figures for support.  But it's not known for sure why.

Same Sex Relations

As far as same sex couples go, the Bible doesn't specifically mention same sex marriage either, but the above scriptures (Matthew 19:4-6 and Genesis 2:23-24) are pretty good indications of God's intentions....."male and female". Although there are references to multiple wives, as mentioned earlier, the Bible gives no examples of same sex couples. Where the Bible is very clear, however, is in its stance on sexual immorality, which includes, but is not exclusive to homosexuality.  Like it or not, the Bible consistently tells us that homosexual activity is a sin (Genesis 19:1-13; Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9). The fact it does so in both the Old Testament and New Testament should not be overlooked. It's important to note that homosexuality is not the only sin involving sexual immorality. Adultery and fornication, are just a couple of others that are mentioned (1 Corinthians 6:9).

The Bible also seems to indicate that God does not create a person with homosexual desires. Romans 1:26-27 tells us that people become homosexuals because of sin and ultimately because of their own choice. Admittedly, this doesn't make complete sense or even seem fair. But God created us, thus has the right to do what He wants, and has His own reasons for doing what He does, which someday I believe He will reveal to us. Again, that's where faith comes in (Hebrews 11:1 - "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen")!  A person may be born with a greater susceptibility to homosexuality, just as some people are born with a tendency (upbringing, life experiences, etc) to violence and other sins. That does not excuse the person’s choosing to sin by giving in to those sinful desires. For example, if a person is born with a greater susceptibility to anger/rage, that doesn't make it right for him to give into those desires. In my case, as a kid I grew up experiencing a person who regularly displayed anger and even rage while driving. Even though I told myself that I would never let that happen when I got older, I can still feel those same urges inside of me, and I have to fight them all of the time. Just because I was exposed to that behavior as a kid and thus am susceptible to them as an adult, there's no excuse if I let it happen. It's still a sin that requires repentance. But with God's help and a strong desire on my part, it's a sin that I can fight and overcome.

Romans 1:28-31 also indicates that when people continue in sin (any sin) and unbelief, God “gives them over” to even more wicked and depraved sin in order to show them the futility and hopelessness of life apart from God.

That said, the Bible also does NOT describe homosexuality as a “greater” sin than any other. All sin is offensive to God. Homosexuality is just one of the many things listed in the Bible (see 1 Corinthians 6:9-10) that will keep a person from a close relationship with God (and NOT an automatic sentence to hell). According to the Bible, God’s forgiveness is just as available to a homosexual as it is to an adulterer, idol worshiper, murderer, thief, etc.  So if you ever see a sign that says "God hates homosexuals" or that "Homosexuals will burn in hell",  ignore them.  Those people are misinformed radicals. God hates the sin, but not the sinner (1 John 4:8, Romans 5:8, John 3:16). Why do you think God allowed His only son to experience such a horrible death on the cross?  The personal, trusting, faith-filled, grateful relationship each of us have been asked to have with Jesus (John 3:16, Romans 10:9-10, 1John 4:9, John 6:40, Acts 4:12) is what ultimately determines our fate. But that's a topic for another blog!  Proverbs 6:16-19 actually lists the seven things God hates, in case you're interested. Although homosexuality isn't one of them, there's no denying that the Bible, hence God, doesn't approve of it.

Conclusion

As a result,  if someone is homosexual, or same sex couples want to live together, have a relationship together, or even commit their lives to each other, that's no business of mine. That's between them and God.  It would never stop me from being friends or associating with them. But if I'm asked to legally put same sex marriage on equal terms with traditional marriage, I simply can't for the above reasons. That's really the bottom line. So because that's the stance I (and others) choose to take, please don't tell me/us that I/we hate homosexuals. It's simply not true! To me, they are two separate issues. And I think the fact that many pro-same sex marriage supporters assume the latter if someone supports the former is a mistake they make.

In Matthew 12:30, Jesus warns us, "He who is not with Me is against Me....". Believing and following everything in the Bible isn't easy. But I suppose more people would be doing so if it was.  Anyhow, whether you agree or disagree with what you just read, I hope it''ll give you something to think about. At the very least, you should have a better understanding why people like me feel the way we do.



5 comments:

  1. I am still a bit hazy on the part about how defending the legal definition of marriage as between a man an a woman will prevent the homosexual act from happening. I mean didn't you say that it is the actual ACT (homosexual sex) that God does not like? Coud you explain more about how keeping marriage between a man an a woman prevents the homosexual act from happening? I mean that is the goal here, to prevent the sin from happening, and that is why you can't back same sex marriage, correct? I guess I am still not really sure how preventing legal equality for same sex marriage is going to curtail homosexual sex as they seem like two totally different things to me. Anyway, thanks for posting as I was always curious what the deal was, and now I know. :)

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    1. Hey Greg! Thanks for reading it and for your question.

      Like David said (I think!), what two people do together (same sex or not) is really not our business, but between them and God. But in the case of Prop. 8, we were being asked to decide whether same sex marriage is LEGALLY the same as traditional marriage. For Christian folks like me, it's important to see what God/the Bible says about this, since He created us and thus we're obligated to follow His rules. Believing what we do, if we went against what He instructs, we'd be purposely sinning. I'm sure this sounds crazy to some, but it's how myself, Christians and many others decide to live their lives!

      Although the Bible doesn't specifically address same-sex marriage (although all marriage examples listed in it, like Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, David, Solomon, Peter, and others, are married to the opposite sex), God makes it clear that the act of homosexuality is a sin. I shared some scriptures in my blog that says so. Again though, it's a sin that's no worse than any other.

      I think it's safe to imply that anyone who partakes in a same-sex marriage is probably homosexual (or bisexual) and thus partakes in homosexual relations. But there certainly may be a same-sex couple who are not gay or are gay but have a platonic relationship. But I would assume they are in the extreme minority. Anyhow, the same sex marriage supporters seem to tie this cause in with gay rights, so I'm assuming the two run hand-in-hand.

      As a result, same sex marriage, although not as clearly addressed as homosexuality is in the Bible, involves the act of a sin that is clearly is, and is performed by most, if not all of those who participate in it. And that's why I can't support same-sex marriage as being LEGALLY equal to traditional marriage. I have no issue with anything less (civil marriage, etc.). Like I said, everyone's actions are ultimately between them and God and not my business....unless they go against the laws of God and then I'm asked to approve that. That's where the line is crossed.

      I'm not expecting people to agree or disagree, but just understand where I and other Christians, etc. are coming from! Hope that helps!

      Thanks again!

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  2. Your conclusions echo my sentiments exactly and to me answers Greg's question. I think what you're saying is that legislating homosexual marriages would be the same as endorsing and condoning it and that is against biblical principles; and though condemning these marriages doesn't necessarily prevent them, they won't proliferate as much if they were allowed. Furthermore one could be held accountable for the proliferation of these acts that arise from such legislation and that would be against your conscience and believes. But in all that no one can be held accountable for any of these acts nor really should a Christian be that concerned what happens outside the church and hence outside our jurisprudence. I know that's a mouthful, but I'm not very good at saying things succinct.

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  3. Hmmm, well, I still think y'all are confusing sex with the legal rights gained by marriage. I would also contest your comment about "I think it's safe to imply that anyone who partakes in a same-sex marriage is probably homosexual (or bisexual) and thus partakes in homosexual relations." as there are lots of different folks out there and you are making a HUGE assumption about what folks do (or do not do). I can understand wanting to live by God's word, but I am still very hazy on what that has to do with the legal definition of marriage, as you said yourself that marriage is not even mentioned in the bible! Being joined by flesh seems to be talking about a committed monogamous relation, as it seems like back in those days, it was the individual's commitment to being monogamous that was important, and not what labels man put on this. (i.e. marriage as a legal definition) . With that said,after the SCOTUS ruling today I guess it is a moot point. ;)

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    1. Hey Greg. We can go around and around on this, and like I said, I'm not trying to change your mind but just explain what I believe. That said, I just want to address two things you said in your last post:

      1. I didn't say that marriage "is not even mentioned in the bible", I said the word marriage isn't mentioned. And that's true. But there are a combined 456 references to the words "husband" and/or "wife" in the Bible. Also re-read the scripture (from Jesus) that I included in my original blog: "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh." A pretty obvious reference to a marriage union of some kind. Neither this scripture, nor any other of the 456 references mentions wife/wife or husband/husband. All are husband/wife.

      2. I happen to choose to use the phrase "same sex marriage", but if you look at any of the news sources today (I just checked cnn.com, msnbc.com, usatoday.com and foxnews.com) and they all use "gay marriage". If you look up the word "gay" in Webster's dictionary, you get the following definition: "of, relating to, or used by homosexuals". So I really don't think I was making that huge of an assumption! Plus I did say that there "certainly may be a same-sex couple who are not gay or are gay but have a platonic relationship. But I would assume they are in the extreme minority." I still believe that.

      Anyhow, thanks again for commenting on this. What do you think about my movie blogs??

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