Hollywood and Godzilla: 0 for 2.....

Godzilla 2014

Although better than their feeble 1998 effort, and despite it's modest box office success, Hollywood still hasn't cracked the proverbial Godzilla nut.  Sure, this summer's version has a very entertaining final 20 minutes with Godzilla and two MUTO's (Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organisms) going toe-to-toe in an epic battle of prehistoric radiation-induced monsters. But that alone doesn't make for a good movie.  And unfortunately for me, this battle couldn't make up for the prior 90 minutes. 

In a nutshell, the movie is about the discovery of two radioactive gigantic, nuclear hungry MUTOs (I don't even know how to describe them) who were somehow discovered underground in the Philippines in 1999. 

Simultaneously,  a U.S. scientist in Japan named Joe Brody, played by Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad" fame, has been monitoring recent and increasing seismic activity throughout the region.  His research shows that this activity is leading to something big, but his warnings fall on deaf ears. Once the inevitable happens, tragedy strikes him, his wife, and their young son. 

Joe and Ford Brody

Fast forward to current time, and the seismic pattern from 1999 is re-emerging in Japan. An older and more obsessed Brody, still living in Japan, tries to warn the new generation of scientists, again to no avail. Once the inevitable happens again, MUTO 1,
a flying male, and Godzilla are released from their underground prisons. We also learn that the MUTO 2, a land dwelling larger MUTO, had earlier been moved to a storage facility in Nevada, and has conveniently escaped as well. The two MUTOs are now trying to reunite in San Francisco to scope out an underground radiation source there. On the way, MUTO 1 snacks on a Russian nuclear sub while making a seemingly unnoticed stop in Oahu. In the meantime, a resurrected Godzilla is on the tail of both of them. Rather than destroy the two MUTOs, the U.S. Military decides it would be best to let Godzilla take care of it.  

At the same time, Brody's son Ford (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), now in his 20's, a recent returnee from a tour of duty in the Middle East and currently living in San Francisco with his wife and child, decides to fly to Japan and help is dad.

Now I know we have to extend reality a bit for these kind of movies, but there was so much that happened during all of this that simply didn't make sense. At least to me. Here are just a few things (spoiler alert!):

• How was MUTO #2 (over 200 feet tall) transported from the Philippines to Nevada? 
• How did MUTO #1 arrive in Oahu undetected? Especially with a Russian nuclear sub in tow? 
• When did the Honolulu Airport get a tram?  
• The U.S. Military for some reason was basically portrayed as being inept and bumbling. Although set in contemporary times, they had a difficulty accurately tracking these behemoths for some reason! The Japanese military of the 1950's and 1960's gave Godzilla more of a fight than the U.S Military in this movie!
• In a matter of hours, how did these two MUTO's not only mate, but produce a slew of living embryos?
• The rescue buses were using the Golden Gate Bridge to get to Oakland. Hmm... 
• Finally, we were told early on that these MUTO's were not initially destroyed because they contained so much radiation that it would endanger millions of people. Which is bad news for everyone in the bay area and maybe California after Godzilla was through with them. Major contamination! 

Despite all of this, Godzilla did look great though, albeit a bit more buffed than his predecessors. Sounded a bit like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park, but it was still a really good rendition. Didn't appear until more than half way through the movie, but I guess that's OK. But when he finally did in Oahu, the movie for some reason, and on several occasions, would abruptly switch back to Cole and his family just as Godzilla was about to confront MUTO 1. Not sure if it was for added dramatic affect, but I got frustrated with it!  I wanted to see them fight! But we were made to wait an hour and forty minutes for that to happen in a computer-generated San Francisco (no actual filming took place there).  At one point, I wasn't sure if the main story line was Godzilla vs. the MUTOs or whether or not Ford would be able to get back to San Francisco in time to reunite with his family!

Anyhow, I'm sure you can sense my frustration. Am I being nit picky? Perhaps on some things. But I'm sensing I may not be the only one. Godzilla and it's $160 million budget raked in an impressive $93 million it's first weekend in mid-May. But as of this writing almost one month later, it's box office total is $186 million, or an average of $31 million a week. Not too shabby, but that's a pretty big drop off considering it's taken nearly a month to duplicate what it did its opening weekend.  But despite all of this, I'm actually willing to give the movie another shot.  I'll rent it from Red Box for $1.20 this time though!  

I read recently that a sequel has already been announced by the studio. I have two bits of advice for the film makers the next time around:  

Godzilla circa 1964

1. Come up with another story line that has nothing to do with radiation or nuclear energy (the 1998 movie also dealt with that). Boring. 
2. As someone who grew up watching the old Japanese Godzilla movies, one of the appealing things about those movies is that the filmmakers didn't take their subject matter seriously. There was a "campiness" about those Godzilla movies.  Both Hollywood versions went heavy on the drama and suspense. Godzilla movies are supposed to be fun! Lighten it up on the sequel!
3. Bring back Monster Zero and/or Rodan!  Or maybe remake King Kong vs. Godzilla?

Using my rating system (1= skip it, 2= rent it, 3= worth a matinee, 4= worth full price), I’d give "Godzilla" a “2”.